Welcome and thanks for checking out my site!  If you are still caught in the awful cycle of addiction, or new to recovery, then you will hopefully find this site helpful. It is my intent to help explain and demystify some of the concepts, procedures, and institutions of recovery because I know how intimidating they can be. For me, my misunderstandings and fear of the unknown led to a year-and-a-half delay from my first detox before I actually started working a real program and recovering. A lot happened in this time period and if I can spare anyone that, I'd like to try - living with PTSD is a real bitch.  My drug of choice was alcohol, so that is where my experience lies. But all of the recovery concepts in this site can be applied to any substance addiction. 

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Most of this site is recounting my experiences with addiction and recovery.  There is some advice offered on a general basis throughout the site, but I don't preach.  This is because preaching doesn't work! And the main reason preaching doesn't work is because everyone needs to find what works for them in recovery.  We are all different people, and different things will work for different people.  For example, some of us need tough love, whereas others will be damaged further by tough love.  I have sat with my husband (also in recovery) through the same speaker meeting and we both came out of it with completely different impressions.  What he thought was inspiring I thought was meh, and vice versa.   So my intent in providing my experiences is to help you decide whether or not you can relate to me and see how some of my experiences and attempts worked out.  A lot of recovery is listening to the experiences of a lot of people, and deciding what will work for you and what doesn't.  That's why 12-step meetings are so important! They are like a buffet of experience and advice, and you can take what you like and leave the rest - just like you will here.  This site contains over a decade of experience but also my opinion, and I'm here to help people and not argue.  If you don't jive with my content, keep searching for what will work for you!  

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My recovery content is free to use for your own personal recovery journey.  I do have a little store you can check out for some funny and inspirational items for some extra motivation.   

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​I AM NOT A DOCTOR!

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This site is not a replacement for a detox, rehab or 12-step program of recovery.  It is meant to help you get through these doors that are necessary for recovery and help keep you there. I am most definitely not a doctor, and nothing in this site is medical advice. If you are to the point in addiction where you need alcohol every day to function, and so your body doesn't get sick, you will likely need a medical detox. If you are experiencing any concerning mental or physical symptoms or are starting to withdrawal - call 911 and get to a hospital. Don't mess around with that, withdrawal can kill you.

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Religious?

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It is a common misconception the God and religion are required for recovery. In fact, one of the reasons it took me so long to attempt a 12-step program of recovery is that I didn't want religion shoved down my throat. At the time, I considered myself an atheist and I thought the recovery programs would be against my beliefs. This was not the case. The only requirement for recovery is that you believe in a Higher Power. If this phrase turns you off, consider this: If you believe that the force of gravity will consistently pull you toward the ground and keep you from floating off into space, Congratulations! You believe in a Higher Power! The task in recovery is finding a Higher Power you can partner with to help you let go of some of your detrimental thought processes. 

Now, my recovery experience resulted in me reconnecting with my God, so I will refer to my Higher Power as God because those are my beliefs; however, your personal beliefs are just as welcome here. But I do not preach religion.   Only recovery! (I'm still figuring out how I feel about organized religion anyway.) I discuss Higher Powers more fully in a future post and actually will have a worksheet to help you brainstorm ideas for your Higher Power if you are struggling with this concept.

If you are strictly the intellectual type, a Higher Power is a psychological necessity to supplant the power that alcohol/drugs have over you. It is helpful to believe in a Higher Power to learn that you cannot control everything so you can finally let go of this responsibility. Most of us addicts believe we need to control everything and everyone, and when we can't things go to hell. We will delve into this more fully in the post on Higher Powers, but for now, please don't let all the Higher Power talk deter you from entering recovery.

Pardon my French....

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​You will learn pretty quickly many of us in the recovery community like our expletives and dark humor. I think a lot of this goes hand-in-hand with underlying trauma that most of us have, either pre-addiction or as a result of our addictions. I'm lucky enough to have both, so a lot of my ideas about humor are heavily influenced by trauma. Don't let the dark humor fool you, I care deeply about helping addicts recover. If you are willing to start the full-life overhaul that recovery requires, I want to help you find and stick with a program of recovery that will work for you.

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About Me

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Hello and welcome to BGH Recovery Support! This is a brand-new blog intended to share my experiences with severe addiction and hopefully provide a glimmer of hope for those of you who are still in the trenches of addiction.   Entering recovery can be incredibly daunting, and will share some  personal experiences with the hope that I can make it a bit more approachable.  It took me a year and a half of failed recovery attempts before I achieved lasting recovery, mainly because there were so many concepts I didn’t understand.  But it doesn’t have to be that way for you.  I am now in my 40s and I have 7 and a half years of recovery from a crippling alcohol addiction. The posts you will read here occurred in my 20s and 30s.  I am an attorney (non-practicing, for reasons we will delve into), and I have lived in New York City, Seattle, San Francisco, Denver, as well as in Virginia, Pennsylvania, Oregon and the UK.  So suffice it to say I have a lot of experience trying physically escape my issues.  At the height of my addiction, I was under 100 lbs and drinking 2-3 pints of hard alcohol daily.   My addiction cost me my career and all professional trust, my first marriage, countless relationships, my financial security, and left me with a lifetime of PTSD.  Even though I have been sober for seven years, I still have nightmares at least 3-4 times per week that leave me in a cold sweat and persistent flashbacks during the day that disrupt my now-calm life.  After my life collapsed and I tried my first recovery meeting, it took me over a year and half to achieve lasting sobriety.  I was in and out of detox, rehabs, and hundreds of 12-step meetings where I earned dozens of 30-day chips before succumbing once again to the numbed abyss of addiction.  If any of this resonates for you or someone you love, I’m here to offer practical and very personal experiences that will hopefully show you that you are not alone and there is always hope.  In sobriety I have the experience of founding and co-chairing a recovery meeting for newcomers. I now live in Colorado with my husband and my son, as well as a menagerie of rescue dogs and cats (who are often my models for my photos.)